Welcome to the Circus
by PanicAtTheDiscoSavedMe
Summary: Alex is forced to join an LGBT circus as a cover to infiltrate an organization called SANTA who are intent on destroying Christmas and the world! Will Alex manage to pull off being a homosexual, purple-haired, acrobat long enough to be taken up by SANTA? -crack fic- mentions of slash, nothing hardcore. Minimal cussing


**Disclaimer: I own nada**

**A/N: There will be mentions of LGBT groups in this, suck it up and deal with it. Also, minimal cussing is to be expected. Also, this is just basically the prologue. PM me if anything is confusing, yes, it is kinda short too, I know. I'M SORRY I'M NOT AMAZING! *sob* BAI!**

_beep beep beep_

Alex groaned and hit the alarm. The beeping continued, so Alex hit his clock again. And again. Rolling over he checked the time-3:42- of course, at this time it was pretty obvious that it wasn't his alarm clock. On his bedside table, an iSmithers lit up, illuminating the room with an eerie glow. The iSmithers was Smithers version of an iPad, but more advanced, duh. It was Alex's new way of receiving missions. Alex let the device scan his thumb and his retina before it opened.

"Good morning, Agent Rider" Alex muttered something unappealing about morning people. "We have recently been informed about a terrorist group planning an attack on Christmas."

"Who'd attack on Christmas?" Christmas was a day of peace, but evil never takes a vacation Alex supposed.

"The group's name is SANTA, which stands for Sabotage Anarchy Nexus, a drug they specialize in, Terror and Arsenic. We have uncovered their plans to bomb malls around the UK area and the United States. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to infiltrate their base as a worker, figure out how they plan to get the bombs to the malls, and how to diffuse them."

Alex sighed, "do I have a choice?"

"We'll bring you into HQ at 0830 hours. Good luck Agent Rider."

Alex threw the iSmithers at the wall, almost hoping it would break but all that did was set off an alarm on the damn device and sprayed some sort of gas into the air. Alex coughed and fanned his face, running out the door, he collapsed on the couch and waited till morning.

* * *

A loud honking woke up Alex, the young agent didn't even have to check the clock to know it was 8:30 on the dot. Alex was too afraid to go into his room and face the iSmithers again, so he just tossed on an old jacket over his worn out t-shirt and opened the door to brave the cold.

A nondescript car was sitting in his driveway. Alex waved at it and just kept walking. The car pulled out and followed him. The driver rolled down his window and stuck his head out while still driving at Alex's walking pace.

"Hey, kid, I'm supposed to give you a ride."

"Yeah, right." Alex knew this agent was just doing his job, but Alex was pissed at having to be awake this early so that didn't mean he had to go easy on anyone else.

"Do I need to show you my references or something?" A neighbor across the street was eyeing them warily.

"What, are you going to offer me candy next?" The man stopped and opened up his door.

"That's it, kid, get in the car." Alex could have taken this buffoon easily, but where was the fun in that?

"HELP!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, he took off running and, of course, the agent followed him. "STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!" The man across the street had out his cell phone and was talking urgently into it.

"C'mon, kid, let's not play games. Get in the damn car!"

"I don't have any money! I won't make a good sex toy! I won't taste good in a souffle!" Alex curled into a ball on the ground and started fake crying. He could hear sirens in the distance.

"Shit." The agent heard them too. "When '6 hears about this they won't be happy" Alex put on a fake sad face.

"What do you mean? I'm just on my way to a karate lesson."

"Wait, you're not the agent?"

"How could I be? I'm only 15" The man muttered a series of curse words under his breath.

"This is all a misunderstanding" he called out to the man who called the police, who was now holding a lethal looking shovel.

"Help!" Alex cried one more time, just for good measure. That is when the cops showed up. As the agent was being loaded into the car, Alex pulled out his agent ID and stuck his tongue out at the man.

* * *

"Sorry I'm late" Alex said as he walked into Jone's office. "I had a bit of trouble with the transport." Mrs. Jones gave him a defeated look.

"Alex, do you have any idea the amount of trouble you cause?-"

"Oh, I can imagine"

"-we had to bribe the newspapers into not releasing a statement, as well as having to talk to your neighbors, and Agent Barton demanded a pay raise."

"He deserves it. Working for you guys?" Mrs. Jones sighed.

"Ok, Alex, just go to Tonks for your disguise." Mrs. Jones could feel a serious migraine coming on. She popped a peppermint into her mouth and rubbed her temples.

"Sure thing, Tulip! Love ya, bye!" on second thought, this one called for two peppermints.

* * *

Tonks was the new disguise master. She was in her twenties with a shock of bright pink hair.

"Hello, Alex! Fancy seeing you here!" She had a thick cockney accent and Alex loved it. She's what Alex imagined his older sister would have been like. "So I hear your cover is going to be a homeless American."

"That's news to me" Tonks sighed.

"Here, read up on it while your hair dye sets. It's going to be purple this time."

"Purple!?" She chuckled sadistically.

"Yes, purple, you're from The Rainbow Circus, a circus that raises money for LGBT centers."

"Wait, does that mean I'm-"

"Yup, gay. But that's ok, everybody's a little bit gay sometimes." Alex sighed and started reading up on his cover story.

* * *

As it turns out, Alex had to audition for The Rainbow Circus, and make it. The SANTA organization was prone to taking their 'workers' from traveling groups like ballets and circuses. Anything that came to Alaska, where the main organization was based.

There was no telling how long Alex would have to stay with the circus, his cover was a gay, 17 year old orphan. His name was Mitchell Young, he was auditioning to be an acrobat. Joy. What he would do to save a couple million people.

**Ok, so there we have it. The first chapter! Hooray! I know, I know, it's kinda short but it's just the introduction. **

**Please don't continue reading/leave a review if you are:**

**Homophobic**

**Transphobic**

**or just an Asshole.**

**Thank you!**


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